Nouveau Holiday Classics

The winter holidays are here. The REAL all things dark and gloomy season. This is the time of year where tempers flare their highest, stress runs rampant and more folks just go plain postal taking it out not only on themselves but everyone else around them. What is needed most at this time of year (okay – other than an unlimited bank account & a stack of rush labels for the post) is a good laugh. And that is exactly what this months web selections provide. So when you get to the point where ya just can't it anymore, put down the ATM card and pull up a comfy chair and create a bit of good energy of your own. Here are a few of the web holiday classics to get you started mocking the holidays.

Elf Bowling One & Two

http://www.bowlersparadise.com/elfbowling/

"Look Mom I killed the reindeer!!"

Hey what would the holidays be without such classics as Elf Bowling? I threw a few pins at the elves a number of years back and found this mildly amusing, okay more in the category of a big yawn. Yes the elves are sassy, rude and irreverent and the pin machine does pull a few of their heads off, but even that was just barely enough to keep me from whacking the escape button straight away. That was the nineties, before the four year old wild child. And now that I know you can kill the reindeer with a bowling ball, well can you say whole new ball game? Seen through the eyes of a toddler Elf Bowling One & Two (actually an elf shuffle board game) have become an annual tradition. "Look Mom he showed his little butt and the sharks ate him." Ah yes, ya gotta love the classics! And hey, download them from Bowlers Paradise and you can shop on-line for fashionable bowling accessories and even register to win a free bowling ball. Family entertainment at its finest.

Jesus Dress-Up

http://www.jesusdressup.com

Paper dolls at their best. While only a year or two old, Jesus Dress-Up has become an instant cult classic. "Humm the candy cane with the Grinch slippers or the holly berries in a slightly ruder local? Decisions, decisions." The premise here is simple. Jesus is nailed the cross and you dress him in seasonally appropriate attire. You can then print him out paper doll style as a lovely addition to your holiday decor. The outfits here change seasonally so check back often. And once again you can be entertained while doing your holiday shopping. Follow the link on this site to the main page of its writer (http://www.normalbobsmith.com) and you will find loads more of irreverent entertainment as well as Jesus Dress-Up fridge magnets. I definately am putting them on my holiday wish list.

Joe Cartoon

http://www.joecartoon.com/pages/santayodaddy/

http://www.joecartoon.com/pages/santafly/

Oh Joe. Yes I know that some now take issue with Joe because he has gone a bit commercial. But hey, we all have to pay our bills. After years of bringing the net such classic free downloads as Frog in a Blender Joe’s site it now a pay-per-view. Well that is not quite right. You can still view his classics, it is just when you go to download his work that you are asked to subscribe. So free view it is. Besides what would the holidays be without a couple of nice & perverted Santa's from Joe? Enjoy, and ya might want to ask the toddler to leave the room for these.

Boneland

http://www.boneland.com/explosions/week-32/index.html

The thing is, I was looking for a Pagan Yule humor site that took on the holidays. Ahh, it seems like Pagan humor is an oxymoron. Oh yea, there are sites out there, but nothing truly sick & funny. They all come heavily seeped in that drippy faux renaissance music, heavily laden in ritual that requires an explanation and practically oozing blessed-be out of every virtual pore. We Pagans are just not funny.

The closest I could come to destroying a Pagan Yule symbol was this, blowing up a holiday tree. Clean. Simple. Mindless. Brought to you by the sarcastic folks at Boneland it is about as basic as you can get for fun. Push a button or two; get the tree in your sites. Kaboom. I recommend pushing the button few times. Mother-in-law visiting? Kaboom! Plastic maxed out? Kaboom! Dog peed on the tree? Kaboom! Your ex-goddess calls just to scream? Kaboom! Feeling better? Even blowing up a mindless Yule symbol can have its advantages.

Here is hoping your holiday traditions include plenty of laughter!!

LA. Judge / nodecafe

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